MIA'S JOURNAL: "Emotions."
- Tahirah Kolbe
- Dec 30, 2020
- 2 min read
MIA JENKINS' STATEMENT:
I write poems to vent about all the pent up feelings I've been having lately. What I had been feeling whilst being in that emotionally unstable relationship with Hayden, and to this day, I wonder if I'll ever be able to recover from what I went through.
I felt raw and emotionless
and nothing could sum up my current state,
fighting against this internal battle
yet lacking the energy to motivate.
I want to motivate myself to get rid of you
because you’ve become too toxic for me.
I’ve also come to the realisation that I’m not the only one you targeted
as you are not who you perceive to be.
You’ve become this whole new individual; cold and conniving,
you continue to feed me these lies,
you portray yourself as this charming yet handsome saviour,
when in reality you are the devil in disguise.
You like the fact that you’ve got so much control over me,
too much that it becomes emotionally draining.
And although I need to remain strong for myself,
I can’t help but continue complaining.
You make me feel as if I hold no value,
treating me like an object, and giving me no choice.
According to you I’m the reason our love has gone sour,
And as much as I want to scream and shout I’ve got no voice.
Whenever I cried at night you’d yell at me,
calling me over dramatic and a crybaby,
and whenever I got fed up with your verbal abuse
you’d tell me to shut up and act more like a proper lady.
Everything I did just seemed to bother you,
and I’m wondering now why had I decided to date you?
Why do I keep letting you hurt me over and over again?
Why can’t I just hate you?
I need to get away from this toxic relationship,
I need to get rid of all these emotions that I feel.
Those beautiful memories we once made together need to be forgotten,
because what’s the point in remembering things that were never even real?
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